


Pulling the Trigger

by yara560



Series: Fallout- One shots [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: And Nick, Fallout 4 - Freeform, Gen, One-Shot, Shooting, Synths, The Commonwealth, The Institute - Freeform, featuring my ss Nita, original sole survivor, sorry if this is a bit confusing, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 21:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18669187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yara560/pseuds/yara560
Summary: Nita does something rather impulsive at the Institute.





	Pulling the Trigger

_Sometimes I wonder._

 

"Kid, get your act together, we don't have much time!" 

The metal ringing in my ears. Shock. Nick's voice was muffled. Almost like I've become...numb. Like I'm not really there. I think I'm trembling. Can't really tell.

 

Sometimes I'm a ghost, watching myself do these things, without so much as a seconds hesitation, cold-blooded. Systematic. One, two, three. Over. I had retired 7 years ago. The last time I held a gun? 5 years ago. I couldn't explain it. It was like a monster who somehow lay dormant in me was now wearing my skin. Using me. Taunting me. 

 

Nick's...shaking me. Yelling. Pulling me away. Running. Hiding. Running again. What are we doing? Why are we....

A blast from a laser gun too close for comfort is what brings me back to reality. I look to Nick, who's somehow managed to get us behind cover. 

 

"What're ya gonna do next!?" 

 

He's angry. Shaken. Clutching his gun, he stares at me with those unwavering, unchanging, illuminated eyes. 

 

I don't answer. I turn away, firing at the nearest synths and take off running. "Teleporter!" Hope he understood. Running past the synths, the trees, the animals, the benches, the tables, the people, the past, present, and future. Away. 

 

Alarms blaring, people in disarray, panic. Panic wells up in my chest like nothing else, like everything at once, suffocating me, almost pulling me to a stop, but I can't. I have to run. For Nate. For Shaun. They have to be safe. But now, who am I running for? They're yelling.

 

"How could you!? You monster!"

 

Sometimes it doesn't feel real. Sometimes I'm just going through the motions. Sometimes I only really feel alive when I'm asleep. Sometimes I'm still back at home. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I scream. I shout. But no one answers.  _They can't_. I won't let them. 

 

We manage to scrape through, and then we're disassembled, just molecules, traveling at unimaginable speeds, and somehow, somehow we're put back together. Outside. Out. Away from the Institute.

 

Only then, do I allow myself to breathe, but it comes out more like a strangled sob. This time, this time I'm not away, I'm there. Here. Feeling. Feeling the skeletal hand on my back, soft murmuring, electric whirring, heart beating, thud, thud, thud.

 

"I- Nick, I just- I don't know what-" Ugly, vulnerable sobs interrupt my speech. But it's not like anything I could've said would make things better. 

 

Sometimes I wonder, what made me pull the trigger?

 

What made me kill my own son?

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you liked it! Although, I wrote this mainly for myself after killing Shaun in-game. I was just felt so disgusted with what he had become so I felt like I had to take matters into my own hands. What does that say about me? Well.


End file.
